Twix
by The Pythoness
Summary: A fic I wrote a while ago, it's also on one of my sites. No offense ment to anyone by this odd work, I just want to see what people think of my writing style.


Disclaimer: Any Newsies I used in the story belong to Disney, blahblahblah.   
Another Disclaimer: This is written from Elizabeth's point of view, not my own.  
One Last Disclaimer: This story is rather anti-Spot.   
  
Twix  
  
CHAPTER ONE  
In which nothing happens except a boring conversation, introductions, and a main character going missing.  
  
Pain. The newest in the area of technology that deals with torture. A horrible, searing sensation burned over my brain. I didn't know how much longer I could hold out. Maybe clenching my hands and chanting would help….  
"I will not make sarcastic remarks…I will not make sarcastic remarks…I will not-AHHHG!"  
"Huh?" Becca's confusion over the interruption was clear even through the mouthpiece of our eccentric phone. I had named it Edward a few months back, only because we name everything in our house.   
"Nothing." I replied, faking a lighthearted laugh.  
"If I'm bugging you, I'll stop."  
"No…no…quite…all right…" I crossed my fingers and tried to smile reassuringly through the phone.   
"Oh…ok then! Where was I?"  
"Racetrack…" I replied slowly, dreading the rest of the conversation.  
"No, no, I'd gotten through every scene he was in and the rest of his acting career before and after the movie…I know! I was on Mush!" She hadn't picked up the note of fear in my voice. I sighed silently. "Well first, Mush is really, really hot…first of the hot guys! The hottest! He's so cute!"  
"…wasn't that Spot?" I muttered.  
"No, I'm over that now…last month…old business. Mush is much cuter. AND he can dance!" Oops. She heard me. Suddenly an idea crept over my brain. I smiled. Zoning out of the conscious mind into whatever place I go to whenever Newsies is mentioned, I laid out the details of my plan. When I came back, Becca was still talking Mush. And cute.  
"….and he's much cuter than Racetrack, I don't care what Shaky says. Major doesn't care, of course…although we've tried to convince him Sarah Jacobs is pretty if you squint…reeeaaalllyyy squint….". I put the phone down on the couch and ran in to my room. I grabbed a deck of cards and sprinted back. I spent the next half an hour grunting "mmhmm" occasionally and playing solitaire. I won 15 games.  
  
Becca and I have been friends since the third of our trio-Liz-introduced us in kindergarten. We grew up together with Liz and all go to the same church. The church is attached to our private Catholic grade school, St. Thomas More. As a result of Catholic education, none of us took our religion seriously enough to pay attention during mass. So we spent the time in mass making faces at each other.  
If you read the above paragraph and didn't just skim it looking for something interesting, it will seem natural to you that I saw Becca at church the following Sunday. She waved cheerfully and I smiled back. She's really a great person if she shuts up about Newsies for 10 seconds. 10 seconds is enough to get your ear plugs in, then all you have to do is nod and smile. Although I'm mean to her in my descriptions, Becca really is one of my very best friends. I elbowed my way across the church at the end of mass. She grinned at the moaning people I left in my wake. "HI!" I yelled as soon as I thought she could hear me.  
"GUESS WHAT?" she yelled. I was right next to her now.   
"WHAT?" I yelled.  
" I FOUND A SECRET PASSAGE…oops…in our garage."  
"Really?" I asked. I had no idea if she was bluffing or not. I searched for a safer topic. "Have you seen Liz?"  
"Nope." Becca frowned. "That's odd…I wanted to tell her about the passage so I told her to be here." Becca stood on her tiptoes and peered above the crowds of people. I did the same.  
"See her?"  
"Nope."  
"Well…it's like her to not show up when she said she would. I'm better at that kind of thing than she is…" I said with a faint smirk. Becca grinned at the feeble joke.  
"That wouldn't take much though, now would it?"  
"Nope!" We snickered. Although we love Liz, her tenancy to forget important dates and be consistently late gets annoying.   
"But…the passage…" Becca started again…"it's in my garage. I looked under one of those huge piles of junk in the back and there was this big, black hole that led to a narrow torch lit chamber."  
"That's not smart," I frowned. Becca raised an eyebrow. "You shouldn't bring torches underground or in any enclosed space. They burn up oxygen. Then people croak."  
"Croak?"  
"Majorly croak. Slowly. Painfully." Maybe even worse than listening to you talk about Newsies, said a treacherous bit of my mind near the back. NO COMMENTS FROM THE CHEAP SEATS! I thought back.  
"So whoever put those torches there must watch too many Indiana Jones movies…" mused Becca. "A flair for the dramatic." She looked pointedly at me. I stopped arguing with myself. "Hello? Pun? Torches…flair…get it?"  
"That hurt."  
" I know," Becca smiled sweetly. "So when do you want to check it out?"  
"As soon as we find Liz!" I replied enthusiastically. I still didn't know if she was making this all up, but I wanted Liz along with. Just then my family came to re-claim me, so I left promising to call Liz once I got home.   
I did. When she picked up the phone, Sharon-Liz's mom-sounded awful. The news she gave me was worse. Liz was missing.  
  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
In which our heroes acquire new names after crawling into a big hole in the ground  
  
I sat back in shock. Liz's mom went on about how she had been missing since about 7:00 Friday morning, when Liz's mom had gone in her room to wake her up for cross-country practice. No one knew what had happened. My mother knew about it. So did Becca's. They didn't tell us because they thought she had just gotten herself lost or something. Next they didn't want to disturb us. Liz's other best friend, Kathryn, knew. We usually don't talk to her at all, so she didn't tell us. However, one of the worst things any of the three of us could think of had happened, so old grudges were thrown away. For a while. Kathryn, Becca, and I met in Becca's house about an hour later. Kathryn looked very tried and stressed. I didn't look any better. But Becca was another story. She looked more energetic than usual, her eyes were shining, and she was grinning a huge Cheshire cat grin. "Hi," I said in a small voice.  
"Mm," said Kathryn.  
"Hi everyone!!," said Becca. I narrowed my eyes. Becca smiled even wider. "How'd you sleep, Kathryn?" Kathryn blinked.  
"Fine."  
"That's great!" Becca giggled. Giggled. She never giggles.  
"What…Becca? Explain?" I tried to make sense.  
"I know where Liz is."  
We stared.  
"She's through…there." Becca pointed a pile of junk. Under it must be the "secret passageway" I supposed. Kathryn looked confused, so I told her about the conversation I'd had with Becca earlier in the day. Becca just stood next to the pile of junk looking pleased. When I was done, she pulled on a random shoe. The whole pile lifted up, and a circle of darkness yawned at us. It was about 3 feet across, just wide enough for a person to climb through. Torchlight showed an 8-foot drop to the floor of the tunnel. "Ye gods…" I muttered and moved towards the opening.  
"How do you know she's down there?" asked Kathryn, moving with me.  
"I was sitting in here wondering where she might have gone, when I thought I heard her voice. It sounded like she was yelling at somebody. At first I figured I was imagining things, but when I came closer to the passageway, it sounded louder. So I tried opening it up, then it was like she was right in my face. If we climb down there and follow it wherever it goes, we can rescue her!" Becca was glowing. Kathryn looked skeptical.   
"Lets just try, Kathryn…what harm can it do?" Kathryn looked at me in surprise. Then she shrugged.  
"Whatever. It might work, I guess. It's just…the torches…you're right about the oxygen thing, Elizabeth."  
"I know I am." She glared at me.  
"Are we going or not?" Becca asked impatiently.  
"Don't we need stuff…flashlights and whatnot?" I thought out loud.  
"No, there's light already."  
"Still…what if they go out?" Kathryn looked at Becca reasonably. She rummaged through the junk piles for about 30 seconds and came out with 3 flashlights. "Your house is just like mine," she said, handing them to each of us. We turned them on, and climbed into the hole. After the drop, we picked ourselves up, groaning. "Does everyone's flashlight work?" asked Kathryn, after making sure hers did.  
"Yep," replied Becca after she was done making shadows on the wall. One of them looked like a deformed rabbit. When I caught her eye, she grinned guiltily. "It's my favorite," she explained. I shrugged. This was Becca, after all.  
"Mine does too," I told Kathryn.  
"Good…then lets go…You take the lead, -----." Kathryn stopped.  
"Who?" I asked. "-------, I don't…oh, weird."  
"---------, -------, -----," said Becca. "Why can't we say our names?"  
"Dunno," I replied. "What can we call each other?"  
"Middle names?" tried Kathryn.  
"No," I said, "People on the Internet will be reading this. I don't want them to know my full name! And I'm too lazy to make up a new one." Everyone agreed with that logic.   
"Well…." said Becca slowly, "I could use my Newsie name."  
"Penny," Kathryn nodded. "That will work."  
"I don't have a Newsie name, though…neither do you Kathryn." I pointed out.  
"So make one up," said the new Penny. Kathryn grimaced.  
"I hate Newsies," she whined.  
"Deal with it," I replied. "I'll be…Mitty."  
"Mitty?"  
"----- is Penny…that was her dog. Mittens is my cat, we call him Mitty."  
"That would make me Poppy," Kathryn sighed. "Can't we call me '---? No." She pouted for a minute, then sighed again. "All right, I'm Poppy." That got a snicker from me. Kathryn/Poppy rolled her eyes and walked down the tunnel with her flashlight in her pocket. After a pause, Penny and I followed.  
After a good 15 minutes of walking, we noticed a change in the tunnel. The rugged sides began to take a more rectangular shape. The floor gradually became rockier until it was totally gravel. We noticed these changes in silence. Suddenly we stepped out into a huge underground cavern. Well, we all knew it was a cavern. But it looked, felt, sounded, and certainly smelled like New York City. I knew for certain it was NYC when a greasy, grimy little kid screamed "WANNA PAPE?!" in my face.  
"No…I don't."  
"NEWEST ON SPOT'S PRISONAH!" He just wouldn't go away! I looked at Penny for help. She was staring at the kid with love in her eyes. I think she would have got down on her hands and knees to worship him if Poppy hadn't put a hand in front of her eyes.  
"Gerroff!" Becca mumbled, shoving Poppy away. "Do you know who that is?" The kid was giving us all an odd look.   
"A newsie?" Poppy said in a "DUH…anyone can see that" voice.  
"Not just any Newsie!" exclaimed Penny, "He's…ummm…" The kid started playing with his suspenders. "ITEY!" The kid looked up.  
"Dat's me." He resumed playing with his suspenders. "Are yous gonna buy a pape?"  
"No." Poppy said. "You might get more speaking lines if you would stop playing with your suspenders like an idiot."  
"Really?" Itey asked.  
"Probably." Yanking on Penny's arm, she motioned me to join her. Together we towed Penny away to find Liz somewhere in the underground city, leaving Itey contemplating his future career moves.  
"Know what's weird?" I asked, as Penny sited more Newsies and struggled to run over to them.  
"What?" panted Poppy.  
"She says newsies with a capital N…you don't. Neither do I, come to think of it."  
"She's a cult member."  
"That could be it." We dragged Penny farther into the city. Suddenly, a ring of dirty boys surrounded us.   
"His Majesty Spot, Rulah of Brooklyn And Da Surroundin' Area, demands tah see youse!" Newsies are very good at saying things in unison. They grabbed our arms and pulled us forward. When Poppy and I refused to come, two came forward with really big sticks. I knew what was coming and cried out, but it was too late. They hit us with them and we were out like lights.  
  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
In which a few things are explained and there are a lot of useless pieces of conversation.  
  
When I came to, it was in an alley. I was tied to a post. The alley smelled really, really bad. I started coughing. Poppy was already awake, she was tied to the pole next to me.   
"Welcome back," she said.  
"What stinks?" I asked groggily.  
"Spot."  
"Funny, but seriously."  
"I am serious. Look…" Poppy pointed to the end of the alley. There was a huge throne, covered in gold, and sitting in it was…Spot. Even Liz would recognize him, and she'd seen the movie twice...with her hands over her eyes more than half the time. I said so to Poppy.   
"Of course she recognizes him…" Poppy drew my attention to a small cage next to the throne. It was made of wood, and Liz was inside. She was arguing with a newsie wearing an eyepatch. Penny, who was also awake, was drooling at him.   
"YOU MAKE ME SICK!" yelled Kid Blink.  
"THE FEELING IS MUTUAL, SLEEZEBALL!" Liz roared back. Kid Blink blinked.   
"What's 'mutual' mean?" he whispered to Spot.  
"It means…It means…err…" Spot looked embarrassed. "Don't waste my time with such foolish questions!" He took the key hanging around his neck, pointed it at Kid Blink, and zapped him. Kid Blink looked more than slighly annoyed as he disappeared in a puff of smoke. He re-appeared ten seconds later, on top of Liz's cage.   
"Get off!" Liz growled. She started pounding on the ceiling. Kid Blink jumped off and glared at Spot. Liz stopped pounding and glared at Spot too. Spot looked nervous.  
"Ummm…" I started, thinking I should distract Spot. I didn't think getting zapped would agree with Liz. He turned to me, Poppy, and Penny.  
"You have awakened!" Spot tried to make his voice boom in a powerful fashion. He failed.  
"Yes," said Poppy.  
"We will now demand your names!"  
"That's nice," said Poppy snidely.  
"Snidely Whiplash!" exclaimed Liz. Everyone stared at her. She grinned crookedly. "You said something in a snide way…snidely…Snidely Whiplash."  
No response.  
"Oh, come ON. Doesn't anyone watch cartoons here?!"  
Everyone ignored her and went back to the conversation.  
"You will tell the Almighty Spot your names….or…you will diiiiie." Spot said, sounding like a knight who says Ni.  
"I'm…Mitty…" I said hesitantly, "And these are my companions, Poppy and Penny." Penny was still drooling at the still glaring Kid Blink.   
"Do you know the name of this…thing….?" He asked, gesturing towards Liz.  
"Of course they do, you stu-[THE SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO DOG-NAMED NEWSIES REGRETS THAT THEY HAVE TO BLOCK OUT ALL FURTHER DIALOG BY THIS CHARACTER FOR THE NEXT 5 MINUTES. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVINIENCE AND THE STALL IN THE PLOT.]" Liz stopped talking and looked annoyed. Spot looked smug.  
"What was that?" asked Penny. She had finally stopped drooling and started catching up on the last few minutes of conversation.  
"That," began Spot, "Was a public service announcement." He smirked.  
"That's not fair!" I exclaimed.  
"Oh, but it is…it is my world here, I am the ruler. The Ruler of Brooklyn…AND BEYOND!!! HEHEHEHEHEEEEE…." Spot coughed. "It will happen to anyone who tried to insult me here." I imagined how many times Liz's dialog must have been cut out.  
"What do you want from us?" Becca looked truly scared. She was watching Liz try to talk. Any force that could stop Liz from talking must be a strong one indeed.  
"I want….you to sell me…YOUR SOULS." Suddenly, Spot sprouted devil horns. "OH MY GOD!" Becca yelped. Liz looked amused. She held up a hand with 4 fingers sticking up and looked at her watch. I got an idea. I started making frantic signals to her. Her eyes went wide and then narrow again as she grinned almost as evilly as Spot. Meanwhile, Spot was giggling, Poppy was trying to get Penny to stop shaking, and Kid Blink was talking with a guy in a suit. He was wearing the tackiest bow tie I have ever seen.  
"My soul is, unfortunately for you, firmly attached to me," announced Liz. Spot stopped giggling. Penny, Poppy, Kid Blink, and Bow-tie Guy stared.  
"It hasn't been 5 minutes yet!"  
Liz shrugged. "By my watch it has been." She stuck her wrist out of her cage so Spot could check. Spot glared. Liz looked innocent. As soon as Spot looked away, she winked at me. Penny, Poppy and I smiled. No force, no matter how powerful, could stop Liz from talking if she had something to say.  
"Anyway…" Poppy began. "About our souls…why do you want them?" Spot gave her a "Have you been hiding under a rock for the last 2000 years?" look. "Because I'm evil. That's what evil people do for fun. Besides," Spot pointed to Liz, "she just really bugs me!"  
"I love you too," Liz said sarcastically.  
"No you don't," said bow-tie guy. Liz gave him the same look Spot just gave Poppy. He cringed, and ran away.   
"Denton! Come back!" Kid Blink sobbed. "LOOK WHATCHA MADE 'IM DO! Davey is gonna be so PISSED." He ran after Denton. Penny shook her head.  
"This is scaring me."  
"Back on the subject…"  
"Oh. Right. Your souls." Spot smiled. "I have Penny's already. I just need the rest of you…and to do that, I need all my Newsies! Haha. Haha. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He took his key and threw it in the air. Next he chanted in a strange language.   
"How does Spot know Pig Latin?" I whispered to Poppy.  
"I don't know…" We were interrupted by every Newsie in the movie suddenly appearing in the alley.  
  
  
CHAPTER FOUR  
In Which Everyone Talks A Lot and the Heros Escape.  
  
"I have called you here for the collection of three new souls," Spot announced. The Newsies cheered. This would make a good headline to scream at unsuspecting future customers. "The souls of Poppy, Mitty, and…some other girl!" The Newsies cheered again. Cheering was almost as good as singing, dancing, and going on strike. Going on strike was their favorite, mostly because it involved lost of cheering, dancing, and singing. Of course, Sarah liked making doilies more, but no one cared about her.  
Spot turned to Poppy and I. "I have your souls, because you gave yourself Newsie names-" The Newsies cheered. This was fun! "-now, all we have to do is give you something." We stared. The Newsies cheered. "Shut UP!" The Newsies stopped cheering. Seeing our confused looks, Spot explained "I said sell your souls."  
"Oh," said Poppy. "There's nothing you have that I want."  
Spot smiled and held up a few videotapes.  
"What are those?" I asked in spite of myself.  
"The first season of Dawson's Creek…unedited…with no commercials."  
"DONE!" yelled Poppy. The Newsies cheered. The ropes holding her to the pole disappeared. She ran up to Spot and grabbed her tapes. Seeing my shocked expression, she smiled guiltily. "My soul is nice, I guess…but Dawson's Creek is Dawson's Creek!" The Newsies nodded.  
Spot looked at me next. "Well?" I said. "What do you plan on tempting me with?"  
Spot held up a disk. I narrowed my eyebrows. "It's a copy of the program I use to shut that-" he pointed at Liz "-up." I grinned, my ropes disappeared, and I grabbed the disk. I have a sister who talks even more than Liz does. Many people think that's not possible, but it is. Trust me. Finally, Spot turned to Liz.  
"I have no part of your soul at all. You have no Newsie name, and there is nothing you want from me except being let free which comes with selling your soul. You also get these nice earmuffs." He held up a pair of hot pink earmuffs with "I sold my soul to Spot Colons!" written in yellow on each side. The Newsies cheered and pulled out their own earmuffs. Spot tossed Poppy, Penny and I each a pair. I decided I'd bury mine in the back yard as soon as I got home. "So…what do you want?" Liz glared.   
"You can take my soul, but you will never take my fre…wait, that doesn't work. Ummm…You can take my freedom, but you can never take my soul?" The Newsies booed. "Shut up."   
"I took one, I'll take the other." Spot sighed. "Don't be difficult."  
"Where did you learn to speak like a sophisticated super-villain anyway?" Liz asked, avoiding the subject. Spot pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It said "Joker's School of Villainy" , with a picture of the Joker from Batman underneath.  
"Now will you PLEASE sell me your soul?"  
"Well…why are you guys down here anyway?" Liz asked, trying to smile reasonably. Spot glared.  
"We are THE NEWSIES. They government didn't want us spilling that they used expensive time machine technology to grab us from the past just for a stupid Disney musical. So we were lured down here and someone shut us down here after the making of the movie. We were all knocked out by the lack of oxygen when some IDIOT-" Jack looked at his feet and blushed-"lit the torches and burned all of it up. Then suddenly the oxygen was back. I guess it came back because someone opened a passage that lead here."  
"Then how did you go to that school?"  
"We have internet access." The Newsies cheered. I did not want to know what they looked up in their spare time.  
"So you saw my site and decided to kidnap me?"  
"That's correct. The questioning is over…your soul please?"  
"Fine…" Liz grinned. "Mush…what do you have in your pocket?" The Newsie called Mush separated from the crowd.   
"Nuttin'…" he muttered.  
"You have something that I want, Mush." Liz insisted. Mush sighed and pulled a Twix bar out of his pocket. It was slightly melted. He pushed it through the bars. Liz smiled and took it. The Newsies cheered. Spot stared.  
"That's the price of your soul? A Twix bar?!"  
"Yessir. Can I leave now?"   
"Yes…no. You need a Newsie name," Spot replied. The Newsies cheered. Denton(who did come back, even though he was permanently scarred from Liz's glare) gave Davey a meaningful look and started edging away from the crowd. This was boring. Itey played with his suspenders. Then he turned to Racetrack.  
"Do yous really t'ink I cin get more speakin' lines if I stops playin' wid me suspendahs?"  
"Look…this is boring-" The Newsies cheered louder than before "-and I want to go home. Can't we just forget it?" Denton and Davey were almost out of the crowd.  
"NO!"  
"But you're making me sell my dignity too!"  
"What dignity?" Spot, Penny, Poppy, the Newsies and I all said at the same time.  
"That was NOT funny." Liz sighed. "Ok…call me…Tomato." Liz grinned as half the Newsies winced. Newsies, I supposed, didn't like tomatoes. "NOW can I leave?"  
"I guess," Spot said. He took our souls and put them in a box under his throne. "One more thing, just to prove I have you," he added. "Say the word Newsies."  
"Newsies," said Poppy with a questioning look on her face.  
"No, no, say it in the middle of a statement like this: 'I just sold my soul to the Newsies,' Get it?"  
"Ummm…ok. I just sold my soul to the Newsies," Poppy declared.  
"I also sold my soul to the Newsies," I said.  
"Holy crap, you guys are talking like Penny!" Tomato laughed.  
"That's the point. Your turn!" Spot replied, pointing at Tomato.  
"I really, really, really hate the newsies," Tomato said, sticking her tongue out. Spot did a double-take.. He took the box out and checked to make sure he had all our souls. He looked back at Tomato, confused. Tomato just grinned.  
"Maybe I do still have my dignity."  
The Newsies started wandering away, Denton and Davey wandered into a different alley. Sarah, being the idiot she is, made more doilies. Then Spot made a fatal mistake-he let Tomato out of her cage. Tomato sighted down her Twix bar and shot him full of chocolate and caramel goodness. Spot instantly became a chocolate Easter bunny. Tomato picked him up. Then she shot Sarah too. The remaining Newsies cheered. They decided it would be a good time to sing and dance. If only they had something to strike against! Then this would be perfect!  
"Lookit dem, dey're Easter bunniiiieess  
Pers'n'ly, I t'ink Spot had fleeeeas  
Now dat dey're gone for good  
They we can go tah Tibby's an' eat some food-"  
"Since when does good rhyme with food?" wondered Tomato, as we ran away from the pelvic-thrusting, heel-clicking, cartwheeling Newsies. Penny made the mistake of looking down one of the alleys.  
"EWWW!"  
We ran. We ran hard. Eventually we made it to the opening that led to Penny's garage. We used Penny for a ladder, then hauled her up. Penny closed the door on the secret passageway. Then we all looked at each other and laughed.  
"Say…Tomato…" I began when we finished, "What are you gonna do with those Easter bunnies?"  
Tomato smiled. "I'm not eating Spot. The newsies are right...he did have fleas."  
"Eeeeewwww," everyone said at once. Tomato looked disturbed.   
"Don't…EVER…say things at the same time. Never again."  
We nodded.  
"And stop thinking of me as Tomato!"  
  
No one ever asked Liz to tell about her horrible stay in the underground city of Newsies. She would glare and bring out her Twix bar if you did. Funny about that Twix bar…who would have known that Mush carried around a Twix bar that turned people into chocolate Easter bunnies? I sure didn't. I didn't want to know how Liz knew he did, either. I went shopping with Liz for school supplies a few weeks ago. A few of the folders were leopard skin print. Usually Liz loves that stuff, but when she saw the spots she had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. Sometimes I think it's better not to ask.  
  
The End.  
  
Credits: Thanks to Penny for translating regular dialog to newsiespeak. Thanks to everyone who reads this, thanks to Tina for making me finish it.  
  
Warning: Flamers will be unmercifully laughed at. Then I will hunt them down and put gum in their hair.


End file.
